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Couples Counseling

Broken down and in need of the right parts

In my early 20s, my 1984 Honda Accord with 280,000 miles on it broke down.

I went to a car junkyard here in rural Utah to find a used part for my already old car, hoping to get another year or so out of my affectionately named college car, “Tank.”

As I walked into the shop, a man greeted me and asked, “What can I do for ya?” And I responded that I needed help finding car parts. He asked for the make and model of the car, typed a few things on an old computer, and then said, “Yep, I think we got one of those.”

I was amazed that he had a database of sorts (which I wouldn’t doubt was all in his head) to know what parts he had in stock.


Over time, parts break and become scattered.

I didn’t have much time to think about his database as he invited me to follow him. I walked out the back door with him and saw a vast field of old broken-down cars.

As we walked through the field of cars, I saw parts missing and broken everywhere. I wondered if it were possible to reuse some of these parts after all.

As we walked, I observed parts missing and imagined this man taking parts off to sell to others.

I also noticed some parts that seemed like only time had dismantled them. Funny how things stick in your head.


Going the distance requires maintenance.

After a few minutes, the man said, “Here it is.” And I saw a car like mine, though a different color. There were no tires, lots of rust, and quite literally, it was falling apart. He took a few minutes, found the part I was looking for, and asked me if I wanted it.

It looked sound enough, so I bought it. And if I remember right, it did the trick to fix my car, which was the first college car that I put many miles on driving to and from school.

My car, Tank, taught me that cars need constant maintenance. They require oil changes, new tires, brake lights, windshield wipers, etc.

Repair is especially essential if you plan on keeping them for a long time, like over 300,000 miles long.

Intentional maintenance keeps relationships running smoothly.

Relationships are very different from cars in many ways, but this experience has some profitable principles. A vehicle that isn’t maintained will likely not last as long or require major repairs to last as long.

Like cars, relationships, when intentionally maintained and cared for, will last. That doesn’t mean there won’t be problems, but the severity of the issues will likely be far less when maintained well.

Relationships tend to fall into a state of disrepair over time naturally, and like cars, may end up in a junkyard of sorts.

Yet, with deliberate effort, a once broken-down relationship is possible to revitalize and last for years and years to come.

Gain happy attunement

Whatever the state of your relationship, I am here to help you know what to do to keep it well maintained.

I will take the time to understand both the troublesome symptoms and the potential underlying root causes.

Not only will I help you understand symptoms of discord and root causes, but I will also support you in learning the skills to be purposeful in your relationship moving forward.

You will walk away with the tools to communicate and the skills to maintain your relationship so that you can keep it to the end of life and beyond.


Transformation is possible.

You can rebuild trust and enhance commitment.

It won’t be easy; it might even be painful at times, but revitalizing and transforming your relationship is very much possible.

Let me help you climb to new heights in your relationship and a level of love and understanding that has been difficult to achieve.

Call today at (435) 610-1810 and let’s keep the parts together so your relationship will keep running smoothly.

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